Let Love Stay Aside

by Commoner

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released February 24, 2017



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Commoner Lawrence, Kansas

We're just here so our mom's don't see how sad we are.

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Track Name: Visions
You were talking in your sleep again
You were talking about your dreams
It seems that everything is dark again.
You describe the light like you're at the bottom of a well,
and the coins seem never ending.
Why won't they stop wishing.

You were talking about how the shadows out
The games he plays
Haunts you everyday
Til he gets what he needs.
And his plague bends your words until they fucking bleed
But I used your blood and I watered the seed

You were talking through your staggered breathing
Escaping the feeling knowing everything's looking at you
Your heart is beating like it's out of tune.
But I can hear you.

I swear the same drugs made my father dizzy
The comfort of a mother who was always busy
Your eyes are worn down
From everything you've seen
Say you're colorblind
but it will haunt you like a lucid dream

And if I had never known you
I don't know what I would do
But I would never die without you.
Track Name: Broken Bottles
Why do more things remind me of you then I can remember
Second home, the liquor store
And every corner I surrendered.
I drive past your house each morning
And each time you're never there
The routine's been killing me
You can't see this isn't fair
And It's been one year
To this day; That you ripped a piece of my heart away
Forgetting seasons never change
And I hope that tight rope wrapped around your throat
Feels better than that bottle can

You've implanted
bastard thoughts
Into my brain
I call them fucking memories

Empty bottles
leave you blinded
You're nothing but a bad disease
3 am has felt more like a home
Than you ever have
Her consistency comforts me

And I thought about killing myself
For the first time since you left this town
It was subtle, yet reminiscent
And I just can't hold myself down.
But with this time I pulled the trigger
Instead of flying into headlights
All the weight is my finger
Giving up is the only fight

I just want you to notice me
I just want you to notice me
I need you to fucking notice me
But I'm screaming
And I can hardly see
My vision is turning red
By the numbness flowing through my head
It took 24 years to find myself
And that is lying on my bed
I've done all that I can do
I've given everything that I had left to give.

I see shadows
Flowing effervescently
Like mimics of your ghost
Theyre holding on to me
But like cancer, you are binding
And my walls begin to breathe
Intaking all my oxygen
My mind begins to free

How hard does my heart have to beat
From underneath my fucking chest?
How hard do my screams need to be
So I can lay my head to rest

I surrender!
Just please take this all away

You see,
There's more I want to live for
I can physically see my story lengthening
No more tight ropes casting shadows
And bruises that theyve fucking given me
Track Name: Idle Bones
These cages we build ourselves in have hollow walls
That crumble with our strongest threat and reveal the world
Like the first time opening your eyes
I'm asking you
Trace the stars to locate a reason
Discover the outcome; repeating cycles again
You clouded my brain
I can't see straight
I'm feeling trapped, locked, out of my own mind
Built from bones from a broken man
With a mother holding onto the image that I am
I learned to be this man on my own, dad
I never thought it'd be this hard alone
I never thought it'd be this hard alone

If you just drink the anecdote, father
I know that I'm poison to your skin
That's why you never came home again

Ash is what's left when the fire dies
And now that you keep coming
I can't stop from running
Your fingers wrapped around my throat
And I can't take much more
You said that we would be just fucking fine
We're not fucking fine
The distance between our bodies is the only thing that we can fix
I'll bring the sunrise
You put the moon back to rest
You clouded my brain

I can't see straight
I'm feeling trapped, locked, out of my own mind
Built from bones from a broken man
With a mother holding onto the image that I am
I learned to be this man on my own, dad
I never thought it'd be this hard alone.

I thought we were blood.
Track Name: Phoenix
It's so sad to say
I'll only hold you in my dreams
And I will always hate
How suddenly you had to leave
3 months, life cut short
To disappear unexpectedly
From me
And from us
First branch of the family tree
I've been yelling at these walls
To take me home where I belong
And I've been hearing echoes
Convincing me of what went wrong
Erase all of my thoughts
Take away every single memory
I'm begging for an answer
Or just bring her fucking back to me
You're the thoughts that speak in whispers
Like wind winding through the trees
Bending over backward
Tying knots inside reality
I'm falling forwards expecting arms
To catch all the weight of me
Instantly hit the ground
I'm a burden to society
Broken down
He's fucking high again
Swallowed hope
Hold it tight
You can't hold it in
Take my breath
Take my whole life
I'm still searching for
A heartbeat in your mother's eyes

If love could have saved you
You would have lived forever
But I'm no savior
Get her out of my head
Can't get you out of my head
Get her out of my head

Where are you now?
Where are you now?
Are you a ghost,
Haunting deep inside of me?
Where are you now?
You've got the world inside your hands
Please set me free

Just set me free
Track Name: Runaway
I hear them talking
The voices in my head
They're filling it with messages
And leaving me left for dead
They won't carry up my bones
And save me from myself
Oh god, please help me now.
Departed from seeing my own hollow eyes
Open up this empty mind
Over shadowed by a dark storm
I swam for miles
To try; to try to see the daylight

You can't take the sky from me

You can't take the sky from me
This is the only air that I breathe

You are the ocean
Pulling out the sea
I am a sunken ship
You drifting over me
You're taunting me with daylight
And I'm dancing with the waves
You separated me because
I'm only half the man that you thought I was.
May the distance between
Who I am and who I want to be
Inspire me
To become the man we intended
I may be fixed but I'm still not mended

If you can be a bird
And fly away at ease
Then I am the fucking wind
Carrying your wings
I am the shadow that stalks your footsteps
I am the quiver in your knees
I'm the hollowness in your stomach
I'm the truth that no one see's

And maybe I am better off all on my own
Broken homes and idle bones
I thought this town would warm up without you
Cast away, it's all that I can do
The blood is running on your bathroom floor
The answer to your own actions
There's nothing I can do
Begging's pointless

I've given up on you
Track Name: I'll Love You When You're Ready
I just want you to listen

I want to help you find a better judgement for yourself
That you're not the person everyone has made you feel
And god damn I just wish you would see yourself from where i stand
Un-bury you from the inside
I know this concept will be difficult to grasp
Just put your pain aside.
I want to love you until my heart gives out
And we will never know
When I may go
Shit, I've been begging for it for weeks
Lucky me.
And I've told you over and over
That you could try to run
But you just won't shake me
You won't get me to leave
You won't be able to protect me with the distances you've been saying
Because I am still so tied up within you.
Seeing you hurt only makes me want to show you what you can be
But I cannot sit back any longer
And watch you crush your self respect
With every spoken word and threat
And those damn stories on your legs
Like braille that won't ever go away
I see you
And those eyes
Oh god, those fucking eyes are like a never ending sea of green
I'm trapped and I'm drowning
And baby if you can see so well
Then why the hell cant you see me?
It's going to cut deep
And burrow up inside of you
The pain is going to keep hurting
But nothing worth fighting for ever comes easy
Let me take you forever
Broken or however
I will mend you
I will love you like my own flesh and bone
Just take a look at what you made of me
And I would much rather hurt
Knowing that I've tried everything
Then to admit I'm hurting
From letting go so easily
If you give up and let the pain back in
Then he wins and you're still stuck
Waiting for him to say everything I have been.
So walk slowly, babe
And take the time you need
Because happiness is hard to find
And I'll be here
To love you when you're ready.

Is what your living for
Worth dying for
Or am I just dying all alone
You told me to find myself
But I'm so lost in you, I'm so lost in you
Feeling empty in a crowded room
And living was something
That I could never do
Until I started living with, living with you
So let us dance around like we're children
In the ashes of our past
I only wanted to feel wanted
Just like you
And it's so beautiful how the music moves you
Late night, echoing through the hallways
You're caught dancing with the sound waves
And I can't help but stare
And I'm hoping that this song never ends.