Broken Bottles

by Commoner

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Why do more things remind me of you then I can remember
Second home, the liquor store
And every corner I surrendered.
I drive past your house each morning
And each time you're never there
The routine's been killing me
You can't see this isn't fair
And It's been one year
To this day; That you ripped a piece of my heart away
Forgetting seasons never change
And I hope that tight rope wrapped around your throat
Feels better than that bottle can

You've implanted
bastard thoughts
Into my brain
I call them fucking memories

Empty bottles
leave you blinded
You're nothing but a bad disease
3 am has felt more like a home
Than you ever have
Her consistency comforts me

And I thought about killing myself
For the first time since you left this town
It was subtle, yet reminiscent
And I just can't hold myself down.
But with this time I pulled the trigger
Instead of flying into headlights
All the weight is my finger
Giving up is the only fight

I just want you to notice me
I just want you to notice me
I need you to fucking notice me
But I'm screaming
And I can hardly see
My vision is turning red
By the numbness flowing through my head
It took 24 years to find myself
And that is lying on my bed
I've done all that I can do
I've given everything that I had left to give.

I see shadows
Flowing effervescently
Like mimics of your ghost
Theyre holding on to me
But like cancer, you are binding
And my walls begin to breathe
Intaking all my oxygen
My mind begins to free

How hard does my heart have to beat
From underneath my fucking chest?
How hard do my screams need to be
So I can lay my head to rest

I surrender!
Just please take this all away

You see,
There's more I want to live for
I can physically see my story lengthening
No more tight ropes casting shadows
And bruises that theyve fucking given me


released February 20, 2017



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Commoner Lawrence, Kansas

We're just here so our mom's don't see how sad we are.

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